MARRIAGE 101:
Building Loving and Lasting Partnerships

Instructors:     Bill Pinsof, PhD (w-pinsof@northwestern.edu)
Arthur Nielsen, MD (anielsenmd@aol.com)
Cheryl Rampage, PhD (c-rampage@northwestern.edu)
Alexandra Hambright Solomon, PhD

Purpose:         To familiarize students with the intricacies and problems of close, committed, interpersonal relationships – including marriage – so that they will be better prepared to choose the most compatible future partners, and experience greater marital/relationship satisfaction. The course is intended both as a means to relationship enhancement and as a “primary prevention,” a sort of immunization against serious marital troubles and divorce later in life.

Format:           The course will combine traditional academic methods (lectures, class discussions, assigned readings and written work) with experiential and self-discovery assignments coordinated with the subject matter.  Each week’s classroom experience consists of a brief introductory lecture, elaboration of the topic and experiential tasks in small groups, and a final plenary session discussion period with all students and faculty

                        Additional experiences outside the classroom will include:

§         Interviewing a married couple from the community selected for their relative marital health and happiness;

§         Interviewing your own parents about their marriage;

§         Keeping a self-inquiry journal, responding to questions relevant to each class topic.

Topics by week:

Week #1:  Predicting the course of marriage.  What science tells us (so far).

Week #2:  Getting to know yourself through intimate relationships.

Week #3:  Intimacy and love.

Week #4:  Sexuality in long-term, committed relationships.

Week #5:  The (not so fine) art of marital conflict.

Week #6:  Conflict, part two.

Week #7:  Conscious and unconscious aspects of dating and partner selection.

Week #8:  Ordinary challenges of early marriage:

§         Establishing rules, roles, and routines

§         Managing “I-ness” and “we-ness”

§         Negotiating relationships with extended family.

Week #9:  Unanticipated challenges of marriage:

§         Physical impairments

§         Infidelity

§         Financial crisis

§         Serious child-related problems.

Week #10:  Reviewing couple interviews.

Written assignments:

1. Self-inquiry journal.  Each week, students will respond to three to five questions based on the readings and class discussion of the day.

2. Parent interview.  Students will write a summary and analysis of the interview(s) they had with their parents.  The analysis should include impressions of the parents’ marriage, consideration of the impact of that marriage on the student, and process comments on what it was like to do the interview.  The report should be at least five pages in length.

3. Mentor couple interview.  Write a summary and analysis of the interview following the guidelines for the parent interview.

4. Research paper.  Choose a topic relative to marriage that holds particular interest to you as a potential challenge to your marital happiness (e.g. the impact of children on marriage.  Research your topic looking both for empirical studies and empirical/theoretical sources that address the issue.  Write up your findings, and include any pragmatic steps a couple could/should take to effectively manage this issue in their relationship.  Your paper should be approximately ten pages in length.

5. Weekly quizzes.  Each week there will be a 15-item quiz on the reading assigned for that day.

Grading:         Grades will be weighted as follows:

                        Quizzes (nine total):                     45%

                        Self-inquiry journal:                       5%

                        Parent interview report:               15%

                        Mentor couple interview report:  15%

                        Research paper:                         20%

Readings:

1. Christensen & Jacobson (2000). Reconcilable Differences.

2. Goldbart & Wallin (1994). Mapping the Terrain of the Human Heart.

3. Gottman (1999). Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

4. Pines (1999). Falling in love: Why we choose the lovers we choose.

5. Packet of readings (selected journal articles).

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