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Don't React — Respond

"Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?"
Lao Tzu
How many times a day do your children say or do something that bothers you — words or actions you know are wrong or simply irritating? And how often do you quickly correct or scold?

Hiding Negative Feelings

Imagine that for twenty minutes, your 4-year-old has been fussing at the playground, crying and complaining and kicking sand at other children. Feeling growing irritation, you inch toward delivering a serious scolding. But you sense the watchful eyes of parents nearby, and so you suppress your feelings and handle the moment with faked aplomb.

Nibble, Then Quibble

Finding yourself and your partner on the brink of a spat? First check how long since either of you have eaten.

Complain Skilfully

Here are some examples of complaints done well:

  • When you don't return the ice cream to the freezer after taking yourself a bowl, it melts, and I feel frustrated and irritated with you.

  • When you were yelling at the kids and using swear words, I felt very upset.

Why We Blame

Is there any couple alive that doesn't sometimes indulge in the blame game — finding fault in one another when something goes wrong?

Behind the Anger

What parent hasn't had the experience of a son or daughter — 2 or 3 years old — running toward the street? In an instant, many of us angrily shout at the youngster to get back onto the curb.