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Becoming a Family: Nurturing your Connection in the Transition to Parenthood

Becoming a parent is one of the most profound transitions in life an individual will experience, and for a couple becoming parents together is an extraordinary and life-long journey that bonds them together. So why is it, then, that it is so common for parenthood to decrease relationship satisfaction?

Invite Boredom

Has boredom become extinct?

When Kids Cry

Perhaps the toughest thing when our children cry are the emotions their tears trigger in us: empathic upset and sadness, plus a sense of helplessness that comes from thinking we need to do something while unsure what that would be.

Your daughter comes home in tears. She can barely choke out words to describe the mean things some girls said to her on the school bus. You listen to her story and try to comfort her. If you’re really skilled, you’ll offer her attunement (Are You Okay?

You’re at a party. Alcohol is flowing. After a half-hour chatting with others, you spot your partner across the room and meander over. Almost instantly, she complains that you’ve abandoned her. Her tone is surprisingly harsh.

Violent Gaming

While kids everywhere play violent videogames, parents wonder about negative effects from all that shooting, maiming and killing. Some scientific research is worth our attention.

Are You Okay?

We say it often — “Are you okay?” — when we notice that our child’s mood seems “off,” or he’s experiencing an emotional setback, or she’s tripped on the pavement or fallen off her bike. We say it because we care; we’re concerned.

Right Versus Smart

You’re waiting at the corner of Michigan and Huron, meeting your partner for lunch. Ten minutes have passed, fifteen…twenty minutes and no call, no text — nothing. She arrives after thirty minutes — cool calm and collected. Seeing the vexed look on your face, she asks what’s wrong.

Behind the Anger

What parent hasn't had the experience of a son or daughter — 2 or 3 years old — running toward the street? In an instant, many of us angrily shout at the youngster to get back onto the curb.

The 5:1 Ratio

Many of us have it backwards. With our kids, we emphasize talking rather than listening. We believe that good parenting means explaining, reminding, correcting, admonishing, instructing — it's no wonder a lot more words come out of our mouths than theirs. In time, all our gab tends to turn them off. By adolescence, many tune us out.