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Voice Effects

You probably never thought about lowering your voice during an argument. You probably never heard about the power of reducing your volume when tempers flare and emotions spill over. Here's what you need to know:

Empathic Effort

In our primary relationship, we all want to be understood. We want our partners to "get" us. Whether we're upset or joyful or sad, whether we're disappointed, excited, or discouraged, we want our partner to accept and understand what it is we're feeling.

Northwestern Alumni Career Webinars

Demographic projections suggest that our society is becoming more racially and ethnically diverse. How do you identify and capture the value that exists from more multicultural schools, organizations, businesses and communities?

Your daughter comes home in tears. She can barely choke out words to describe the mean things some girls said to her on the school bus. You listen to her story and try to comfort her. If you’re really skilled, you’ll offer her attunement (Are You Okay?

“My friend Caroline is driving me crazy,” your partner reports, exasperated. “She keeps pushing me to go shopping again, but I don’t have her endless energy for that.” Quickly, you’re poised to suggest a way she can beg off on her friend’s invitation.

You’re at a party. Alcohol is flowing. After a half-hour chatting with others, you spot your partner across the room and meander over. Almost instantly, she complains that you’ve abandoned her. Her tone is surprisingly harsh.

How to 'Get It'

Ask your partner if you’re a good listener. For most of us, it’s often hard to accurately grasp the main idea, particularly during a difficult conversation. And it’s harder still when we’re pseudo-listening:

Can your kids easily accept criticism? Can they receive feedback calmly and with an open mind, or do they get touchy and defensive?

How good are you at receiving criticism?

“The feeling that ‘no one is listening to me’ makes us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.”*

So much “traffic” seeking us out in our online world and yet many of us go through our days with a sense that “no one is listening.” Not even our spouse. Especially our spouse.

Sacred Spaces With Kids

Is it ever easy to connect with our children, to get them to open up about their lives? Surprisingly, it’s what they yearn for — to be truly seen and heard in all their authentic dreams and hopes and fears. It’s what we all desire, but kids need it differently than we do.