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It's a widespread complaint of women: men don't know how to listen without rushing in to give advice and offer a solution. "I'm not looking for advice," many women say, "I just want to be heard, to get something off my chest." Through some mysterious blend of nature and nurture, guys just want to find a fix.

Women: try a prompt.

Treating Couples Unsure About Continuing Their Marriage

When you fly, do you pay close attention to the aircraft's take-off? Maybe not. But don't neglect your take-off — when approaching your partner with a grievance or complaint.

Marriage researcher John Gottman calls it your start-up.