Back to top
Nikki Lively, M.A., LCSW
• May 12, 2023

Mother's Day is a powerful reminder of all of our maternal relationships - the ones we have, the ones we have lost - what we love about those relationships and what we still long for that we didn't, and maybe cannot receive from them. 

Mother's Day is also a time that puts us in touch with our own relationship to ourselves as a "mother" and our reproductive identities - childless by circumstance, childfree by choice, in the hopeful but difficult journey of fertility treatments with a dear wish to be a mother though we are not yet there - just to name a few! 

Given the general celebratory nature of this day and how it's addressed in stores, magazine covers, morning talk shows and social media, if you know you are not emotionally in a celebratory mood, I hope you will give yourself permission to engage in a self-care ritual that honors where you currently are. This could be for some of the day if you need to show up for others to celebrate them, or even the full day if you can make that space for yourself. 

Take care to avoid spaces and places that will increase negative feelings or self-judgment, and remember that in a world that defines motherhood in a narrow way, your empowerment lies in finding your own way of valuing the gifts only you have, and defining for yourself the value and beauty of being a "mother."  

Nikki Lively, M.A., LCSW

Clinical Director, Transitions to Parenthood Program
Ms. Lively is a certified Emotionally Focused couples Therapist ​and Supervisor (EFT), ​Certified in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH-C) through Postpartum Support International and ​trained in Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Her main area of expertise is supporting women, men, infants, couples and families in the transition to parenthood ​and specializes in women's reproductive health.