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Emotional Reality Vs. Objective Reality

Have you ever found yourself bickering with your partner over what really happened? Debating your version versus mine? How easily we forget that there are always two realities at play: objective reality and emotional reality.

Complain Skilfully

Do you know that there's a better and a poorer way to complain, to voice grievances with your spouse? It starts with knowing the difference between a complaint (which focuses on behavior) and criticism (which focuses on the person). Avoid criticizing; practice complaining.

Behind the Anger

What driver hasn't had the experience of traveling down the highway when a car in the adjacent lane veers dangerously close or cuts us off? In an instant, many of us erupt with an angry expletive at the "jerk" in the next car.

On Resilience

"Is it true what Nietzsche said: "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger?" Research says it's true — to a degree. Psychologist have found that people who encountered a moderate amount of early life adversity showed lower overall distress and higher life satisfaction than people who experienced lots of adversity or no adversity at all (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, in press).

Men in Therapy

A man faces a dilemma when he decides to enter psychotherapy, whether it is on his own or with his partner or family. Research shows that men are generally hesitant to seek counseling (Cheatham, Shelton & Ray, 1987), and when a male-female couple begins counseling, it is usually the woman who initiates the process (Silitsky, 2000). Why are men often reluctant to seek the treatment they need? Some experts theorize that problems with our culture’s socialization of men and masculinity is a key reason. Kupers (2005) identifies “toxic masculinity” – the sort of manhood typified by the need to aggressively compete and dominate others – as underlying the most problematic proclivities in men.