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Tips of the Month for Couples are regular tips for building strong relationships and healthy families. If you would like to sign up to receive these monthly tips, scroll to the bottom of the page and leave your email address.

Two Realities

Emily: You’re never around. I feel like I’m single again, watching television by myself night after night.    Paul: What are you talking about? I’ve been home most every night this week.    Emily: Hah! I don’t think so. You’ve been home once, maybe twice.    Paul: Are you kidding me? Think about it.

Normal Marital Hatred

Are you disturbed by the title of this essay? If so, you’re not alone. 

Tracking Flaws

Do you keep a running mental tab of your partner’s flaws — saying nothing while privately tallying moments like these:  "She overdrew our bank account again!"  "Again he left the milk out when he came to bed last night!" 

Smart Money

Opposites tend to attract when it comes to spending styles.1 

Who Unwinds?

Cortisol? It's the hormone associated with stress. It peaks shortly after awakening in the morning and decreases as the day goes on, with spikes during stressful moments. Cortisol levels can be quite high by the evening, depending on the demands of the day and the demands after the workday ends. The bad news is that elevated end-of-day cortisol has been associated with burnout, depression, and even earlier mortality. 

Hit the Pause Button

“Between the stimulus and response, there’s a space,”  wrote philosopher Victor Frankl. “And in that space lies the power to choose. In our choice lies our freedom and our growth.” 

The Gift of Self-Soothing

For your partner’s next birthday or special occasion, consider this gift idea: “My gift to you today is a promise to handle myself better in the future when I’m flooded with emotion.”  

Beneath Anger

Has your partner in a heated moment ever said something harsh or demeaning of you and suddenly you fire back with sharp, angry words of your own?   Has your partner, in a social gathering, ever revealed to friends something about you that you regarded as very personal and you turn silent, quietly simmering with anger?