During the month of June, I find myself thinking about the upcoming events that take place within the LGBTQIA+ community. These events bring members and allies together to honor its history, embrace culture and identity, and continue the fight for equal justice and rights.
Although Pride Month brings many joyful celebrations, I also think about the inward journey of self-acceptance that so many people experience throughout their lives. For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, Pride Month can also bring up painful past and even current experiences, and it's important to acknowledge every part of that journey.
In both my personal life and clinical work, I have seen people experience what is known as ambiguous grief. These experiences are often complex, painful and unacknowledged by others. This grief may stem from not feeling seen, grieving lost time, struggling with a sense of belonging, or experiencing a loss of safety.
There is no set roadmap for grief or for someone's journey toward self-acceptance, but having guideposts can be helpful.
Accepting Your Feelings
Accepting one's own feelings is often the very first step toward self-acceptance. I have heard people say, "What is the point of feeling these uncomfortable emotions?" or "Shouldn't I just move on?" But research shows that being able to identify emotions helps ground a person and calm the nervous system. Accepting your feelings non-judgmentally creates a space for healing.
Identify Your Top Values
Naming your top three to five values can provide a compass when life becomes difficult or complicated, or when there is no quick fix. One way to identify your own values is to ask yourself, "When do I feel most alive?" Was it when embracing creativity, community, love, authenticity, or spending time in nature? Taking steps toward living a values-aligned life can not only help during the grieving process but also create a more meaningful one.
The Gifts of Grief
Knowing that there is meaning to grief and that your experience matters can be extremely helpful. The gifts that come from experiencing your own grief isn't a one-size-fits-all, but something will come from this experience. I have seen people develop heightened empathy, deeper connections with themselves and loved ones, the ability to slow down, and a desire to give back to others.
Finding Support
No matter where you find yourself on your journey toward self-acceptance, you deserve support, compassion, and to be heard. Knowing you're not alone can help foster connection and improve your mental health. Therapy, support groups, spending time with loved ones, and finding community are all great ways to begin that journey, not just during Pride Month but throughout your entire lifetime.
Grief and love connect us not only with ourselves but with those around us.
