With the summer season in full swing, many of us are looking for ways to soak up the warmer weather, longer days, and chances to savor opportunities for relaxation. There almost seems to be a paradox that many of us experience in the summer months: having a desire to relax while simultaneously juggling countless demands and expectations.
Many people will have their hands full with their children being out of school. Some will find that their calendars are filled to the brim and will wonder how they have such limited weekend availability. Others will continue to feel overwhelmed by their mounting to-do lists, whether from work, school, relationships, household management, health, or just a general sense of stressors building.
If you can relate to the desire to relax during the summer months but are feeling stuck as to how, check out the following tips and see if any resonate with you.
Try to slow time down
During the summer months, it can often feel like we are watching the sand run out of an hourglass. Time feels like it's slipping by, and we're running out of time to do the things we've waited all year to do. This phenomenon can be due to how busy your calendar is. Moving quickly, whether because of a busy schedule, travel, or a long to-do list, can make time feel like it's shrinking.
You may need to think of creative ways to stretch time. One way to do this is to try your best to be present in whatever task you are doing. Being in the present moment, whether you're doing dishes, spending time with your children or friends, or engaged in a work task, can feel expansive. Use your senses. Notice your surroundings. Feel connected to the environment you are in and try your best to stay present as best you can. You don't have to do this all day, and in fact it's impossible to be present 24/7, but being present truly can expand the sense of time. Don't be afraid to intentionally schedule pockets of relaxation or time to pause. Slowing down also stretches the sensation of time.
Let go of perfectionism
Your summer doesn't need to be picture perfect for it to be meaningful. Nor do you need to accomplish everything on your to-do list before you give yourself the opportunity to relax. Notice if your mind has created rigid expectations or rules for how you are allowed to enjoy your summer, and consider letting them go if they don't serve you.
Similarly, pay attention to emotions of guilt and shame, because often these two emotions are telling you a story that makes it hard to relax. Rigidity around how we are supposed to spend our time can actually take us away from our genuine desire to experience rest and joy.
Consider setting boundaries
This may be a season where setting boundaries can be really impactful. We live in a fast-paced society, and if we wait for life to slow down before we give ourselves the chance to relax, we may be waiting a long time.
Boundaries can be used in many different contexts. Maybe you set an internal boundary with yourself, such as turning off work emails after 7:00 p.m. so you can enjoy a sunset walk. Or maybe you set an external boundary with your children, such as letting them know you'll be taking 30 minutes every morning for yourself.
Remember that setting boundaries requires that you hold yourself gently accountable. Even though we hope others will respect our external boundaries, boundaries are less about others' actions and more about our own. You deserve to protect your time and figure out ways to carve out more peace and relaxation this summer season.
Be intentional with your time
Try your best to tap into your needs, desires, and hopes for this season. Pause and ask yourself, "How do I want to spend the next few months?" and "How can I let myself get there?"
Being intentional with your time means paying attention to how you are spending it and noticing if there is a disconnect. For example, if you wanted to be on a sunset walk but you realize you are scrolling on your phone, observe the pattern and then decide what you want to do next. Paying attention to where your focus actually is can increase the odds that you redirect it when necessary.
A final thought
As you move through the rest of summer, know that relaxation isn't something you have to earn. It's something you may need to intentionally create. Slowing down, letting go of perfectionist standards that don't serve you, creating boundaries, and being intentional can help you both find relaxation and protect it.
No matter how summer has panned out up to this point, give yourself permission to hit the reset button and start prioritizing the rest you need and deserve.
