Tips of the Month — Couples

Research out of the University of Arizona and reported in the April 2010 issue of Psychological Science revealed that the happiest people spend about 70 percent more time talking to others in comparison to the least happy people. The happiest people also engage in small talk one third less time than the least happy people. In fact, the happiest people had twice as many substantive conversations as the unhappiest people.

In studies conducted out of Florida State University, psychology researcher Nathaniel Lambert has found that expressing appreciation to a spouse increases one's dedication to that spouse's well-being.

Few things are more comforting than the experience of being understood by our primary partner.

Studies reveals that couples who get their tough conversations and arguments "off the ground" poorly face a surprisingly high likelihood of divorce. What gets them into trouble? The harsh start-up. It's when the opening lines of a complaint feature a hostile tone and raised voice, put-downs, disdain or contempt for a spouse's traits — all the ways we trigger hurt and fear, along with the defensiveness that follows.

Marriage researcher John Gottman tells us that the happiest couples are the ones who make five times as many deposits as withdrawals from their marital (relationship) bank account.

Research conducted by psychologist Arthur Aron, PhD, and reported in The New York Times (February 12, 2008), reveals that new experiences trigger the release of norepinephrine and dopamine, two brain chemicals that stimulate feelings of pleasure.

Sky-high cholesterol and off-the-charts blood pressure aren't the only ways we put our health at risk. Research out of Ohio State University and reported in the December, 2005 issue of Archives of General Psychiatry revealed that certain levels of marital conflict were associated with the body's ability to heal itself.