Feeling nervous about starting therapy or don't know where to begin? You’re not alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. We’re here to help.
Whether you have already booked your first therapy session or are contemplating starting therapy, it’s understandable to have questions. It can be hard to know what to expect from therapy, and many of us aren’t quite sure how the process actually works. It’s also understandable to feel some pre-therapy nerves or uneasiness at the thought of pursuing therapy. Hopefully, these 10 therapy facts will help answer some of your questions or put you a little more at ease.
1. Your therapist is on your team
Therapy can feel incredibly vulnerable, and it’s completely normal to wonder if your therapist is judging you or analyzing everything you say.
But your therapist isn’t judging you in the way you might think. They are trying to understand you, what makes you you. They want to learn more about your history, patterns of thought, emotional language, perspectives on the world, and the people in your life. Your therapist is working to earn your trust so they can be in your corner. They genuinely care about you.
2. The first few sessions will likely feel a little “clunky”
Your therapist will likely spend the first few sessions completing their intake process, which may feel more like answering a set of predetermined questions than diving into your specific concerns. It can take some time for you and your therapist to find a natural and comfortable groove together. This is to be expected!
3. Collaboration is key, and your voice matters
Although your therapist is guiding the process, your therapy space is yours, and you have agency. You’re allowed to ask questions and express yourself and your opinions. You’re welcome to question things and share your curiosities. You’re allowed to reschedule or cancel sessions. Ultimately, this space is about you, and although it may be intimidating to express yourself, remember that your voice in this process matters. Therapy works best when there is collaboration between therapist and client.
4. Your confidentiality is taken seriously
Therapists are required to protect your information, and what you share in your sessions is kept confidential. Outside of sessions, your therapist continues to protect your information through record-keeping and administrative processes. It’s important to know that there are some limits to confidentiality, such as if your therapist suspects you may be a danger to yourself or others. For your reference, The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) explains this in more detail.
5. You can take your time opening up
There is no pressure to be an open book right away (but if you are, that’s great and welcome!), and it’s common for trust to be built over time. Just like in other relationships in your life, it can take time to feel comfortable and for the relationship to grow. Your therapist will go at your pace and is there to support you.
6. Not every session will feel groundbreaking
Therapy is a process, one that is rarely perfectly linear. It’s normal to experience some sessions as more “active” and others as “less active.” Not every session needs to feel groundbreaking for you to benefit from the process.
Progress takes time, and sometimes you won’t even realize the progress you’ve made until one day you look back and realize those small, seemingly insignificant moments were actually meaningful shifts toward healing.
7. Consistency matters
Especially at the beginning of therapy, when you and your therapist are trying to build trust and get into a flow, it may be beneficial to be as consistent as possible in scheduling. Of course, logistics matter and sometimes scheduling only allows so much, but to the best of your ability try to prioritize consistency. Meeting more frequently provides more opportunities to build rapport, connect patterns, and understand the processes that are happening in your life outside of sessions. That said, be gentle with yourself around this and do what you can.
8. Finding the right fit is important
At the end of the day, your therapist wants you to benefit from the space. They want you to get the most out of your sessions together and sometimes that means finding another therapist who may be a better fit. Remember, it will take some time to get into a comfortable flow with any therapist, so try your best to be patient and give the relationship time. But in the event you feel like you may want to explore other therapists, know that it’s okay to loop your current therapist in. It won’t hurt their feelings, and it’s usually beneficial to talk through your feelings and thoughts together. Your therapist is invested in your care and will be a good ally in helping you find other providers.
9. Your therapist isn’t perfect
Many of us put our therapists on a pedestal, and you may feel intimidated. It can be easy to assume that because therapists are experts in mental health, they are experts at not feeling pain or experiencing hardships. Yet, at the end of the day, your therapist is simply a fellow human. They have their own struggles and experience life’s rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. They aren’t perfect, and they don’t expect you to be either.
10. It’s okay to have some fun!
Even though therapy often explores challenging and sometimes emotional topics, that doesn’t mean it can’t also include moments of levity or humor. You may be surprised to learn that therapy isn’t always serious. For example, at times you will likely make small talk with your therapist, chatting about things such as current events, TV shows, or even the weather. These moments are a natural part of the therapeutic process, because therapy involves a relationship between two people. So, just like in your other relationships, you will smile, laugh, and relate to shared experiences with your therapist, too.
