conflict resolution

In the car, the kids get noisy and rambunctious. You’re distracted by their bickering and loud voices. You’ve admonished them many times during car rides but their behavior hasn’t changed. What should you do?

“Just as there are no great achievements without setbacks, there are no great relationships without conflicts and problems along the way.”*

Think it’s only the little tykes who seek security by clinging to their tattered blanket, like sweet Linus from the Peanuts gang dragging his security blanket everywhere? Think it’s only kids who get deeply attached to something — or someone — and look to it for absolute comfort? Think again.

It happens all the time with our partner: the wish to win the argument, to Be Right, without regard for collateral damage. But too often, my personal “win” becomes a “loss” for us. Despite my victory, we’re feeling disconnected, no closer than when the argument began.

In this text exchange, the responder might be playful … or angry … or indifferent — we can’t know for sure. That’s because all we see are the words; we don’t hear emotion.

Among the many predictors of good outcome in therapy, none is more powerful than the relationship between client and therapist (Safran & Muran, 2000). Put simply, without a strong enough relationship, or therapeutic alliance, the client and therapist cannot do meaningful and effective work.

Opposites tend to attract when it comes to spending styles. Whether you and your partner's spending styles are more or less similar, one factor contributing to marital happiness is operating as a financial partnership while retaining some measure of financial autonomy.

We use the word a lot — trust — but what do we mean when we say it? What aspects of our relationship are we referring to when we use that word?

As many as 50% of children are considered picky eaters, resisting all kinds of foods — vegetables in particular — that would be beneficial for them. Psychologists have tried for years to discover ways to help these kids accept the foods that they resist with such determination. One approach has found more research support than any other over the past decade: repeat exposure.

Do you know that there's a better and a poorer way to complain, to voice grievances with your spouse? It starts with knowing the difference between a complaint (which focuses on behavior) and criticism (which focuses on the person). Avoid criticizing; practice complaining.