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Empathic Effort

In our primary relationship, we all want to be understood. We want our partners to "get" us. Whether we're upset or joyful or sad, whether we're disappointed, excited, or discouraged, we want our partner to accept and understand what it is we're feeling.

A Podcast Series from The Family Institute

In this podcast episode, Neil Venketramen, staff therapist at The Family Institute, interviews Dr.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

In this podcast episode, Neil Venketramen, staff therapist at The Family Institute, interviews Cheryl Rampage, our senior academic and clinical advisor and clinical associate pr

Who hasn't at times hated a loved one?

It happens in every intimate relationship, a moment when frustration or upset or disdain grows so large that the thought crosses the mind: I hate him / I hate her. Love and hate — they aren't opposites, and it's not a zero sum game where the more of one means the less of the other. Both feelings can stir, as they inevitably do.

Your Love Map

It's the part of your brain where you store everything you know about your partner's life. Created by marriage researcher John Gottman1, the principle behind love maps is that knowing the big – and the little – things about your partner's life is part of building a foundation of connection between the two of you.

Marriage and the Heart

Marriage has earned a reputation for offering health advantages: longer and happier lives, fewer medical challenges. But “it’s not the case that any marriage is better than none.”i Some studies have found better health among divorced or single people as compared to spouses in high conflict/high stress marriages.

Thank You

Researchers at the University of Georgia studied nearly 500 married couples to investigate the connection between financial well being and the quality of the relationship.i They wondered what the impact would be on a marriage when a couple faces tough economic times.

Treating Couples Unsure About Continuing Their Marriage

One of the most complicated scenarios in couple therapy involves the situation in which one or both partners express uncertainty about trying to preserve their marriage. As described by Doherty (2011), this “mixed-agenda” couple occurs when one partner prefers to save the marriage (“leaning in”), while the other partner wishes to end it (“leaning out”).

Nibble, Then Quibble

Finding yourself and your partner on the brink of a spat? First check how long since either of you have eaten.